how to squeeze in self-care with kids
This post is sponsored by Wente Vineyards but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.
What or who do you need to make more time for in your life? Take the 21 day pledge here!
When posed with this question, my first thought was “my kids”. I was fully prepared to write this post about how I could be more present with my two kids. It’s just the normal first thought any parent has… but then I thought, Sarah no.
As a homeschool mom who works from home, I’m around my kids all day, everyday. We play games, build LEGOs, craft art projects, do science experiments, swim in the pool, watch movies and have downtime together literally every day. That’s not even counting daily school curriculum and all the field trip day trips we take.
I’m pretty present.
I spend a lot of time with my kids each day, and that’s not going to change. I wouldn’t trade my time with them for anything, but I don’t think I need to totally sacrifice my self-care time either. Life is all about balance, but I feel like my scale is always tipping in one direction or the other. After a lot of thinking on the topic, I’ve decided it just takes dedication. Every day we should wake up with the goal of balance and make a concerted effort to checking off all the boxes.
I never had to worry about this with my first child. She is an extroverted introvert like me. So while she needs to socialize, she also needs to retreat to her bedroom. My second child, oh sweet Gabe, is more like his dad. He prefers constant attention. I use the word “prefer” instead of “need” because I’m realizing that’s the case. I have to learn how to set boundaries with him. I (and his sister) still deserve our alone-time and he needs to learn how to entertain himself. That’s just people – and parenting, right? …but we have to set boundaries. I’m not saying I deserve to hole up in my bedroom and binge a whole season of the latest Netflix show (though that would be awesome) but there’s nothing wrong with setting personal boundaries with your kids. In fact, it’s healthy and necessary.
The parent who is primarily in charge of the kids historically has problems prioritizing self-care (I’m looking at you!) That’s not a scientifically-based comment but definitely an observational one. Of course we need to put the basic care of little ones first, but there is nothing wrong with also thinking about your own needs. We’re all better to each other when we’re fulfilled and happy! We need to make time for ourselves during each day, no matter how small it is. For me it’s going to the gym, a spinning class where I just pedal away my stress and also eating healthy – that extra few minutes spent chopping up a raw salad just for me. I also enjoy a few stolen moments to continue my book or to lay outside in the sun and soak up some vitamin D. A little retail therapy also helps, even if only window shopping!
make it all work together
Some days, I’m like holy moly Sarah, you can do it all. Those are my favorite days. On those days, I am teaching the kids, kind to my husband, cleaning the house and also making time for myself. Other days, oof, not so much. Homeschooling has been a really long, strange trip for me (as I imagine it is for everyone). One thing I have definitely learned is to assign work for the kids and then take self-care time while they complete it. For me, reading behind them or doing yoga has been the most beneficial for myself.
What or who do you need to make more time for in your life? It could be you. It could be your kids. It could definitely be your spouse or even a hobby. Wente wine, a favorite wine I reach for in my downtime, wants you to make a pledge. Pledge yourself to something or someone that deserves more time!
Take the pledge here to make time for that thing –> HERE